Someone took Diogenes into a magnificent house and warned him not to spit, 

whereupon, having cleared his throat, 

he spat into the man's face, 

being unable, he said, to find a meaner receptacle 

* * * *

When he was asked where he came from, he replied, "I am a citizen of the world (cosmopolites)" 

* * * *

Diogenes was relaxing in the morning sunlight, 

Alexander the Greate, thrilled to meet the famous philosopher, 

asked if there was any favour he might do for him. 

Diogenes replied, "Yes, stand out of my sunlight." 

Alexander then declared, 

"If I were not Alexander, then I should wish to be Diogenes." 

"If I were not Diogenes, I would still wish to be Diogenes."

* * * *

Alexander the Great found the philosopher looking attentively at a pile of human bones. 

Diogenes explained, 

"I am searching for the bones of your father but cannot distinguish them from those of a slave."

* * * *